Funny Quotes and Sayings

Happy friendship day to you all..

OK… These are for all the friends you have met in you life, and all the friends that you will meet in the years to come. If a friend turns out not to be one, remember these funny quotes and think about friendships in a humorous way.

Here are some of the funniest quotes and sayings on friendship.

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
~ Benjamin Franklin

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
~ Euripides

Good friends will help you move. REALLY good friends will help you move bodies.
~ This is a Funny Ghetto quote

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
~ Bernard Meltzer

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
~ C.S. Lewis

Friends are like Peanut Butter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth and it feels as if they never go away.!
~Unknown

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.
~Unknown
A true friend stabs you in the front.
~ Oscar Wilde

Friendship

Some funny Anniversary quotes

Marriage

We always like to get funny on Birthdays. We kick butts, paint the face of the birthday boy/girl with chocolates and cakes. And we never stop. Birthdays are meant to be fun, so that we don’t feel bad about getting one year older. Actually it is one day. And the older we get the sillier we get about Birthdays. I dread my birthdays because all my friends have this fetish of throwing me up and butt kicking me. And all the cakes on my face. But still, it is fun.

Here are some Funny Birthday quotes

Birthdays

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
~Winston Churchill

Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they’re drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle.
~Paul McCartney

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
~Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen

Draft beer, not people.
~Author Unknown

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
~Lady Astor

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!Author Unknown

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
~W.C. Fields

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
~Graham Greene

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions, but never before before.
~From the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
~Seneca

Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?
~Robert Benchley

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.
~W.H. Davies

Drinking