OK… These are for all the friends you have met in you life, and all the friends that you will meet in the years to come. If a friend turns out not to be one, remember these funny quotes and think about friendships in a humorous way.

Here are some of the funniest quotes and sayings on friendship.

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
~ Benjamin Franklin

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
~ Euripides

Good friends will help you move. REALLY good friends will help you move bodies.
~ This is a Funny Ghetto quote

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
~ Bernard Meltzer

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
~ C.S. Lewis

Friends are like Peanut Butter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth and it feels as if they never go away.!
~Unknown

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.
~Unknown
A true friend stabs you in the front.
~ Oscar Wilde

Here are some Funny Birthday quotes

Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they’re drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle.
~Paul McCartney

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
~Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen

Draft beer, not people.
~Author Unknown

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
~Lady Astor

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!Author Unknown

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
~W.C. Fields

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
~Graham Greene

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions, but never before before.
~From the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
~Seneca

Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?
~Robert Benchley

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.
~W.H. Davies